ROGER GOODELL ANNOUNCES THAT SOCCER PLAYERS ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO USE FEET TO KICK SOCCER BALL

In a surprise announcement only one day before the Super Bowl, Roger Goodell has announced that all soccer players are no longer allowed to use their feet play soccer. 

Goodell also added, "Feet are stinky. That stinkiness makes the ball disgusting." 

The announcement comes as a shock because he has no soccer experience at all. He is not even employed by FIFA. When Goodell was asked about why he was trying to make a change to a soccer rule he said, "Because I have a great track record with making up rules and enforcing them."