LeBron James Scores All 120 points In Win Over Warriors In Game 3 Of NBA Finals

With their backs against the wall in a must win situation, LeBron James scored all 120 points and had 45 rebounds in what was his most dominating performance in an NBA uniform. 

Using a bizarre strategy, he told his teammates to stay back on "D" while he attacked the Golden State Warrior defense all on his own. 

"I was scared at first because I couldn't use any picks, but God helped me overcome that with my quickness and I was lucky to hit almost every shot I put up there." 

With the Cleveland defense fresh from not playing offense, they clamped down the the Warrior offense and only kept them to 90 points. 

After the game, LeBron was seen celebrating the win by firing head coach Tyronn Lue and hiring Kurt Rambis to coach the next game. Rambis was excited because his television broke and this way he could coach and watch the game up close at the same time. When Kevin McHale heard about the Rambis hire, he took the next flight to Cleveland and gave a good 80's "clothesline" hit on an unsuspecting Rambis. 

AQIB TALIB MAKES NFL HISTORY BY FINDING AND BREAKING TEXAS' ONLY GUN LAW

Denver cornerback Aqib Talib can cover wide receivers and cover the spread on finding and breaking Texas' only gun law. According to the Texas state legislature, Rule 65, article 3 states, "If ya got a gun, no needer hide it, just whip it out and let folks know you got it while sayin 'Merica!" 

According to authorities in Texas, Talib hid his weapon which at least gets him the Death Penalty. The NFL has started to investigate the situation for further punishment. Roger Goodell released a statement today stating, "Tom Brady will be further investigated and needs to stop deflating, tweeting and shooting NFL players. Even though he was in Foxborough at the time of the shooting, my sources say that he flew down there, shot Talib and flew back. Therefore, I need to keep the integrity of the league by suspending Tom Brady for the rest of the 2016 season. Unless of course, he gives me his current cell phone so I can look at pictures of wife, because that's all I wanted to do in the first place." 

ROGER GOODELL ADDS 2 GAMES TO TOM BRADY'S SUSPENSION

During a impromptu press conference Roger Goodell has added 2 more games to Tom Brady's 4 game Deflategate suspension. In response to a reporter's question as to why, Goodell said, "I know Tom Brady hacked into the NFL's twitter account and told everyone I died. So I am suspending him for 2 more games." 

When asked about what evidence he had, Goodell gave out copies of the tweet itself. (see below)

As Goodell started to leave, a reporter asked, "Did you tweet this out yourself?" As the question ended, Goodell knocked over the podium and wagged his finger at the reporter and yelled, "You're God damn right I did! Article 46 in the CBA gives me the right to do anything I God damn want!" He then pounced on the reporter and tried to choke him by pulling on his tie. It took at least 2 sixth graders to pull Goodell off the reporter as an NFL security guard used pepper spray to stop the 6th graders from embarrassing the commissioner.